A Mermaid Triptych

Here’s another fun writing exercise to polish your skills: there are three scenes, each pretty short, between 1/2 a page and a full page. The idea, in the context of theater, is to play with what can be done with stage directions and dialogue. How do we tell a story only through stage directions? How can a scene happen with no stage directions at all?

However, you don’t have to be a theater buff for this experiment, because it boils down to action versus speaking. We hear it over and over, show don’t tell, but what does it look like when we only show? Only tell? Let’s find out!

The activity is structured like this:

Scene 1: ONLY STAGE DIRECTIONS, NO DIALOGUE. Minimum 1 character, maximum 2 characters.

Scene 2: ONLY DIALOGUE, NO STAGE DIRECTIONS. Minimum 2 characters, maximum three characters (at least one recurring from the last scene).

Scene 3: BOTH DIALOGUE AND STAGE DIRECTIONS. Minimum 2 characters, maximum three characters (at least one recurring from the last scene).

Here’s an example, my version of this exercise. Read and enjoy, then go ahead and give it a try yourself!

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Scene 1. 

The stage and audience are underwater.

MERMAID stretches. She yawns. She blows bubbles. A little octopus comes to play. MERMAID lets it sit on her head, then proceeds to swim as if she were human: breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, etc. 

We see a shadow of a ship cross overhead, like a cloud. 

A tense moment.

It passes. Like a cloud.

MERMAID plays in the sand with her octopus friend; they collect seashells, trying to best each other in size. They try and fail to build a sandcastle. Have a sand-ball fight.

Lunch bell rings.

MERMAID thanks the octopus with a high-five.

She eats the octopus, stuffs it whole into her mouth. She swims off, just as happy and cheery as before, tentacles writhing from her mouth until she sucks them in like spaghetti.

Scene 2.

BOY

pfftshhaggluuh!

MERMAID

Oh sorry, did you want to say something?

BOY

GAH! UUH! SPUH!

MERMAID

…okay?

BOY

WAIT! Kuh… ugh… please wait.

MERMAID

I am! 

BOY

My mom is waiting for me. 

MERMAID

Oh yeah! She’s right over there, see? I can hoist you up a bit if you want.

BOY

Thank you. 

…I wasn’t supposed to go to the water.

MERMAID

Smart mom!

BOY

I wasn’t supposed to take off the earplugs.

MERMAID

Curiosity did kill the cat. Poor mama.

BOY

I’m not supposed to play with my food.

MERMAID

Why not?

BOY

I might get… HURT!

MERMAID

That was pretty lame, kid. Hey, at least try to fight and splash a bit more. Your mom will be upset if she thinks you didn’t fight back. My arm’s not even tired.

BOY

MERMAID

…OW! Hwhat iff yer ahrm maye off??

Sssssssssik! I’m gonna be sick.

Scene 3.

It’s dark.

A scream. A wet slapping.

Fluorescent lights on a metal floor. MERMAID flops and bares her broken teeth. Shadows surround her, a fishnet is tangled around her neck and arm. She spits blood.

Disembodied hands grab the end of her tail and drag her off stage.

MAINTENANCE WORKER walks onstage with a mop. Starts mopping.

MAINTENANCE WORKER

This is definitely just making it worse.

We watch until the floor is spotless. MAINTENANCE WORKER steps off stage, grabs a blue rug, then comes back. They roll it out and smooth it. They set up a sign that reads “Exclusive Exhibit!” and a plaque that reads “In loving memory of BOY”

A violent splashing is heard offstage. 

MAINTENANCE WORKER leaves again and comes back with a bucket of chum. Waits.

A big fish tank is rolled onto the carpet. MERMAID lies inside, cramped, dressed like a stereotype, hair dyed pink, makeup on, nails painted, a clam bra, jewelry. Her eyes are pits of hell coated in mascara.

MAINTENANCE WORKER

Alrighty, you must be hungry. 

Reaches for the fish tank lid. Hesitates.

MAINTENANCE WORKER

Try not to bite the hand that feeds you, okay? 

MERMAID glares.

MAINTENANCE WORKER opens the lid, MERMAID pops her head out. She doesn’t bite. MAINTENANCE WORKER pats her head. 

MERMAID opens mouth; it’s like a snake, jaw unhinged and grotesque. MAINTENANCE WORKER is unfazed and dumps chum down her throat. MERMAID leans on the edge of the glass and chews.

MAINTENANCE WORKER

Aw, you’re a sweetie. I can tell we’re going to be great fr-

MERMAID

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb…

MAINTENANCE WORKER dunks head in fish tank and holds it under. Tries to cover ears and thrashes.

MERMAID

…whose fleece was white as snow.